


Kai and the Cat

by LilacBrown889



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Crack, Domestic Fluff, During Canon, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Ships if u squint, but u can ignore them, kyungsoo is so done with everyone, theyre just all insane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 8,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23882179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilacBrown889/pseuds/LilacBrown889
Summary: There is no clear reason why his hyungs thought a cat would be a good birthday present. Jongin doesn't even like cats, but with things disappearing all over the dorm and accusing eyes turning towards him, he soon has far bigger problems to worry about.This is literally just a short crack fic, jongin focused. OT9
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

"....happy birthday to Jongin! Happy birthday to you!" 

The room exploded with sound as Jongin smiled and blew out his candles. All around him people were clapping and cheering. Over the din, he could hear the distinct sound of Chen screeching in the background. 

"Present time! Present time!" Someone started chanting, and soon everyone was shouting as they pushed Jongin towards the present pile. "Present time! Present time!"

Amidst the whirlwind of his crazy hyungs (plus Sehun), Jongin somehow managed to find his way to the couch, and sit at the "throne" they had designated for him. 

Suddenly, everything went eerily quiet. Jongin looked at his friends warily. "What-" he started to ask.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONGIN!!!!!!!!!!!" And the room exploded. Again. 

The sound of three or four idols screaming while everyone else covered their ears was deafening. Wrapping paper and tissue paper and strangely, bits of fake animal fur were flying through the air as if a tornado had started, and the presents were ripped opened by everyone, it seemed, except for Jongin himself. 

When the Chaos finally died down, there was only one unopened package, which sat in front of Jongin. He looked at it, and then at his crazy hyungs (plus Sehun). 

They were staring at him, with wide, excited eyes. 

He looked at them nervously; he could almost hear the sound of their heads internally exploding. 

The silence grew heavier. Jongin watched his hyungs warily. Sehun, at this point, was relaxing on the opposite couch, waiting for something interesting to happen. 

Jongin reached out towards the box, tentatively, and eyed Baekhyun, who was leaning far out of his seat. Baekhyun's eyes seemed almost wider than D.O's if that's even possible. 

"Aish. Give me that!" The silence was broken. Baekhyun shot out of his seat at the speed of light, and the box was open before Jongin could blink. The open parcel was shoved into Jongin's lap. "There, you slowpoke. Now thank me."

Jongin ignored the demand, choosing instead to peer into the box, and almost gasped at what he saw. Had his crazy hyungs (plus- actually, Sehun probably hadn't bothered) really gotten him a puppy!?!

All he could see was a ball of dark brown fur. He reached down and gently pet the ball of fur. It trembled in a very cute way, but the texture of the fur felt strange. 

Jongin remembered the last time he had pet fur like that and rubbed the scar on his arm absentmindedly. Could they really have be en crazy enough to have gotten him a cat?

He looked towards his hyungs as if for an answer, and nodded to himself. Yep. They were definitely crazy enough. Still, he must be polite and well-mannered, especially with the cameras rolling in the background. 

He reached into the box again and drew out the cat, for it was indeed a cat. He placed the small devil in his lap and set the empty box aside. It meowed softly and snuggled deeper into his lap. Its head came up to rub against Jongin's hand and it purred. For the sake of the cameras, Jongin pet it the cat cautiously. It wasn't that he hated cats, necessarily. He just disliked them. Still, Jongin knew he would have to tolerate the cat, at least for a time. He sighed. Why were his fellow members all insane?

<end of part one>


	2. Chapter 2

The only thing stopping Jongin from throwing the cute little spawn of Satan off a cliff was the expectant look on all of his band-members’ faces. He managed to smile, a smile he knew would sweep any girl (or boy) off their feet, and continued to play with the demon, while cringing on the inside. Why couldn't it have been a dog?

Jongin didn't really have anything against cats, he thought. Dogs were just so much better. They were loyal, and cute, and fuzzy, and cuddly…….. there's a reason the dog is called man's best friend. Cats were fine, he supposed, if you didn't have a dog. Like in Egypt, for instance. There were lots of cats in Egypt, but that was just because dogs didn't live there. 

Suddenly, Jongin felt a sharp pain in his hand, jolting him out of his thought. “Aargh!” He glared at the kitten. _You little shit._

Wait. Uh oh. His hyungs were still watching him. Had they seen his glare?

Jongin looked up from the evil shit in his lap and peered carefully at his band members. They were relaxed, and not at all feeling-hurt, as far as he could tell. 

“I, uh, love it? Thanks so much, hyungs, I appreciate it?”

“Cut the act Jongin,” Jongdae said. “We saw that glare. You obviously can’t see the real gift here.”

“What real gift?” snapped Jongin. “You got me a cat!” Wait! Were the cameras still rolling? Jongin looked at them to check. 

“Don’t worry. We knew to turn them off for the last present.” 

“Oh, thanks Lay hyung.” Lay smiled his caring smile at Jongin. Lay had three smiles: his caring smile, his laughing smile, and his ‘what the f is going on, where am I, someone help me, I was totally not zoned out’ smile. 

“AS I WAS SAYING!” Jongdae cleared throat for dramatic effects. He took a deep breath, ready to speak when Baekhyun cut him off. 

“AS HE WAS SAYING!!! Your little brain might be a year older, but it definitely hasn’t gotten faster.” Jongdae tried to speak again, and Jongin rose to defend himself, but both were cut off by the diva. “We’ve _obviously_ have given you the great gift of re-con-ci-li-a-tion!” Baekhyun gestured dramatically and looked towards Jongin, but he was only met with blank stares. 

“Does he even know what that means?” Jongdae whispered, still miffed that Baekhyun had interrupted him and stolen his words. 

“I think what Baekhyun is trying to say,” Chanyeol started, with a questioning glance towards the pouting idol, “is that we have given Jongin the marvelous opportunity to truly get to know cats, well, this cat anyways. Perhaps now he’ll learn to appreciate both cats and dogs.”

Jongin opened his mouth to speak but was again cut off, this time by Suho. 

“Remember rule number 436!” Jongin looked at him blankly. 

Suho sighed. “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” 

Jongin continued to stare at Suho, with his perfected #judging look. Suho sighed again. 

When Suho didn’t say anything further, Jongin tried to speak yet _again_ and was finally able to talk uninterrupted. 

“Go eat cake,” he growled out. 

For a moment there was silence, and then Baekhyun lept up. “CAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEE!” he screeched, and everyone else instinctively covered their ears, except for Chanyeol of course, who also jumped and followed Baekhyun into the kitchen like an oversized puppy. 

There was more silence, and then Xiumin said “You do realize he _will_ eat all of it, right?” Chen, Xiumin, and everyone else except for Sehun and Jongin followed the maniac and his dog into the kitchen.

Jongin gave the maknae a questioning look. 

“I was wondering when you’d crack.” Sehun leaned back onto the couch and raised his hands up to rest behind his head. 

“What do you mean?” Jongin glanced suspiciously at the younger boy. 

“Oh come on. We all know you don’t like cats, and that your ‘loving smile’ looked much more like a scowl of utter loathing and complete disgust.” Sehun smirked. 

“I-” Jongin tried to defend himself. 

“I suggest you back down now, and save what little dignity you have left,” Suho advised from the doorway. 

Jongin sighed in defeat. “Just make sure it stays out of my room. Is there any cake left?”

<end of part two>


	3. Chapter 3

Throughout the rest of the celebration, Jongin tried to forget the small cat. D. O had placed the small devil in their shared room, and Jongin could only hope the cat wouldn't do anything embarrassing or mess up his clothes. It definitely didn't help that Sehun (that little bastard) kept meowing in his ear. At one point the annoying maknae even got Jongdae and Baekhyun doing it, although that stopped when D. O threatened them with a spatula. 

At least they had left him a piece of cake. Last year he didn't get any, because Chanyeol ate his. Lay had tried to save a different piece for him, but Chanyeol ate that too. He had tried to enjoy the cake this year, his favorite flavor, but he couldn't. His mind was solely focused on the  _ cat _ in his room. 

When the celebrations were over, Jongin tried not to rush to his room. He walked as slowly as he could through the dorm. Sehun stopped him right outside his room's door with an evil smirk.

Jongin tried not to sigh aloud in exasperation. "What do you want, pale-face?"

The smirk grew wider. "Oh, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Happy Birthday! Also, I hope you like the present I got you."

"Sehun," Jongin said, his exasperation growing. "Sehun, you ate the present you got me."

"But you got to look at it, didn't you?"   
  


Jongin nodded absentmindedly, looking longingly at the door to his room. "That's great."

"Anyways, yeah. Did you like the cake?"

"Mmhm…"

"You didn't? Aww, that's so sad." Sehun tried to make a pouty face, but his evil smirk broke through like sunshine on a cloudy day. 

"Look, Sehun, can you please talk to me later, I really have to go…" 

"You don't want to talk to me? I feel sad. You hurt my feelings. Why, I feel so hurt… I'll tell Satansoo on you-"

Suddenly, the door to Jongin and Kyungsoo's dorm flew open, startling the maknae line. 

"You'll tell  _ who  _ on Jongin?"

Kyungsoo was standing in the doorway giving Sehun the Look. 

Sehun visibly gulped. "Nothing, hyung. I was, um, just talking about cake, and you know, presents, and um, fun things!"

"Sure, pale face."

  
"Hey! Jongin called me that!"

"Mmhm. Don't forget I know about your 'present' to Jongin. If you want food, I suggest you stay quiet." Kyungsoo glared at Sehun even more, and when Sehun said nothing, Kyungsoo gave him the Look again. 

"Yes, hyung," Sehun said. 

"Hmph. Now  _ you _ …" Kyungsoo turned to Jongin. "Come with me. We need to rearrange the dorm for your new pet."

Jongin followed Satansoo obediently, only pausing once to stick out his tongue at Sehun before the door closed. Sehun blew a raspberry in return, and Kyungsoo called back "I heard that you twat!" through the wall. 

"Now, we need to discuss some things. First of all, the cat is sleeping in your bed." 

"But hyung…"

Kyungsoo glared at him. "When I say discuss, it means I talk and you listen. Second, you need to get the litter box from SeHo's room. Sehun must have forgotten to bring it here."

"I'm sure he must've  _ forgotten _ ," Jongin muttered sarcastically. 

Ignoring him, Kyungsoo went on. "Also, it's your responsibility. Let it die, and you die with it. Remember that this wasn't my idea and that there were no dogs left at the specialty store specifically for  _ cats _ that ChanBaekChen picked out."

"Wait, they tried to get me a dog?"

Kyungsoo sighed. "Is that really all you got out of that?"

Jongin looked at his hyung blankly. He knew better than to use his perfected #judging look on Satansoo. 

Kyungsoo continued then. "But anyway, yes, they did try to get you a dog. At a specialty cat store we had to all drive four hours round trip to get to."

Jongin blinked, and it was as if a new world had opened up.

Of course his hyungs (plus Sehun) weren't smart or clever enough to devise a plan to make him like cats, and he knew they weren't  _ that _ evil (he hoped). They simply went to the wrong store (idiots). 

"Can we take the poor thing back?" he asked Kyungsoo. "It makes sense. With the schedule, we won't be able to take care of it, and it'll get lonely."

Kyungsoo was opening his mouth to speak when he was cut short by the door flying open again. 

"NO!" A Baekhyun appeared.

<end of part three>


	4. Chapter 4

"Can we take the poor thing back?" he asked Kyungsoo. "It makes sense. With the schedule, we won't be able to take care of it, and it'll get lonely."

Kyungsoo was opening his mouth to speak when he was cut short by the door flying open again. 

"NO!" A Baekhyun appeared. 

"What, how?" Jongin was taken aback at the surprise Baekhyun. "I thought we locked the door!" 

"We did," Kyungsoo interjected. 

"How did you get in? Don't tell me Jongdae taught you how to pick locks!"

"Jongdae knows how to pick locks!?!" The Baekhyun rubbed its hands together. "I must research this phenomenon!"

"Good job, Jongin. Now Baekhyun can get into our room whenever he feels like it, idiot.”

“ **ANYWAYS……** ” The Baekhyun interrupted rudely. “The **REASON** why I **INTERRUPTED** your oh-so-precious **KAISOO** time is the fact that while I was **LISTENING** to your **CONVERSATION** , I noticed that **JONGIN** suggested **GIVING** **AWAY** **THE PRECIOUS WITTLE FURBALL WE SO KINDLY DROVE 4 DAYS TO GET!!!** ” 

“It was 4 hours, dumbass. And why exactly were you listening to our conversation?” While Kyungsoo’s words weren’t exactly the most terror-inducing, the Look and the Tone conveyed a much deeper feeling, that even the Baekhyun of Baekhyuns couldn’t ignore. He trembled a little and stepped towards Jongin as if for comfort. 

It was as that moment that Chanyeol came into the room, albeit much more quietly and less dramatically than Baekhyun. It was probably his quieter approach that saved him from the Wrath of Satansoo. 

Kyungsoo merely sighed. “Who else is listening outside our door? Don’t you peoples have a life?”

Instead of replying to Kyungsoo, or even remotely acknowledging the room’s actual inhabitants, he walked straight over to Baekhyun, wrapped one arm around his waist and his other arm over Baekhyun’s Speaking-Hole, and dragged the slightly struggling idol out of the room. The two roommates watched the duo go with a slight sense of “WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS DORM CRAZY??????” invading their minds. 

When the door had closed softly behind the strange pair, Jongin opened his mouth to finally speak, when they were again interrupted by a grinning Jongdae, who burst into their room with a bang so loud it trumped all and every other entrance that evening. Unfortunately, the last member of the beagle line came in just in time to incur the Wrath of Satansoo. 

“What are you doing here?” Kyungsoo calmly asked. 

Jongdae, who was perhaps the most sensitive of the beagle line when it came to recognizing impending explosions, laughed nervously. “Just came to suggest-”

“You know what?”

Jongdae gulped. 

“I am so tired of people invading my privacy,” Kyungsoo said in the same calm voice. “Every day, you lot just burst into my room or my kitchen, or you invade my personal space. And I’m nice to you! I let you off with a few light taps!” 

“Light?” Jongin asked incredulously.

“I’m sick and tired of you Jongdae! You and your posse are so annoying!” Kyungsoo was really worked up now. 

“Hyung, I don’t think Suho would approve of you hitting Chennie with a pillow.”

“Oh, don’t get me started on Suho!”

*****

The next day, Jongin woke up to a small warm cotton ball stuffing itself into his nose. 

<end of part four>


	5. Chapter 5

The next day, Jongin woke up to a small, warm cotton ball stuffing itself into his nose. 

His first instinct was to bat it away, but he restrained himself, because what if it was the beagle line tricking him? He didn’t want the mischievous trio to have even more blackmail material. But as he slowly came to, he realized it was a cute little--cat. 

He meant to say it was the spawn of Satan, really he did. It must be the sleep clouding his brain. And if you tilted your head to the side, and squinted really hard, it did kind of look like a puppy. 

Kind of. 

“What are you doing?” someone asked.

“I swear to all things holy, Sehun-”

“But you’re Satan-OW!”

Jongin groggily raised his from his pillow, to be greeted with the welcome sight of Kyungsoo beating Sehun’s head in with- was that one of Suho’s plushies?

“How-how did you get into our room?”

Kyungsoo turned his glare to Jongin, and the dancer squirmed uncomfortably. 

“Thanks to a certain dancer, the entire dorm knows that Jongdae can pick locks.”

Jongin did his best to look guilty, but he knew they would’ve found out eventually.

Sehun snickered loudly. “You look like a-”

As Kyungsoo not-so-gently herded the precious maknae out of their dorm, Jongin stretched, his shirt riding up to reveal his stomach. Sehun gave him a wide-eyed stare (“When did you get  _ abs?”  _ he later demanded to know, startling the dancer into snorting up water through his nose) and when the door was shut firmly behind the annoying brat, Kyungsoo turned around to see him, still yawning, and turned a soft shade of pink. 

As Jongin finished yawning, Kyungsoo almost ran into a nearby closet. When Jongin looked around for his roommate, he was instead reminded that there was a cat. 

In his room. On his  _ bed _ . ‘His poor dogs must be scratching at the door to his cousin’s house, ready to run and save their eomma,’ he thought. But as he watched the cat, it watched him back with small, bright eyes. From this angle, it looked like some sort of angel, and it reminded Jongin of a certain ethereal hyung of his, at least before said hyung left to sing solo songs so inappropriate and cringe-worthy it should be illegal (although he only realized just  _ how  _ inappropriate the songs were once they were translated into an actual language).

At this point Jongin felt like he’s having someone sort of out-of-body experience. Despite muffled screaming in the background (don’t ask), it’s like he’s trapped in some sort of bubble, with only the cat for company.

Tentatively, he reached out to touch the cat. When he made contact with the soft fur, it purred, and nuzzled its head against his hand. He continued stroking it gently, caught up in some kind of spell.

“AWWWWWWW, CHANNIE LOOK!! THEY’RE BONDING!!!!” 

As Chanyeol came running at the call of his… his Baekhyun (Jongin isn't sure exactly what to call Baekhyun in relation to Chanyeol. Maybe owner?), Jongin practically leaped away from the cat, and the cat actually leaped, right into the closet Kyungsoo is currently hiding in. 

Jongin glared at ChanBaek with his best impersonation of Satansoo. 

Unfortunately, they were too busy dancing in celebration that Jongin was actually touching the cat voluntarily to notice. 

Jongin tried to restrain himself from facepalming too hard, as he gets up to shoo the couple out his room, dress, and eat breakfast. He could already tell it would be a long day.

<end of part five>


	6. Chapter 6

Every week Jongin cleaned out the cat’s litter box. He didn’t particularly like doing it, but as Kyungsoo said, the cat was his responsibility, and even though he didn’t like cats, he was still a man and real men took even the smallest responsibilities seriously. 

One day, when he was cleaning the litter box in the bathroom, the cat came up to him. His hands were full, or else he would’ve shooed it away, but it brushed against his leg in a way that seemed almost as if it was thanking him. He blamed the instance on his overactive imagination and soon after went to bed to sleep it off. 

Over the next few weeks, the cat slowly but surely became integrated into Jongin’s life. A cat bed to be put in Jongin’s room was obtained from Sehun in return for a day’s worth of bubble tea (only five cups), and cat toys began scattering themselves around the dorm. At first, Jongin wasn’t sure what to think of the cat making itself part of the group so completely, but after watching (aka laughing at) the beagle line tripping over the cat toys, he reconsidered and even began to show affection for the cat in various ways.

After long nights of practicing the same moves over and over again, Jongin would come back too tired to even eat or change into nightwear, and the cat would jump onto his bed and purr. Sometimes he petted the cat, other times he just stared at it blankly until he fell asleep. Still, it was always nice to know someone would be there to see him. 

Once, when Jongin was relaxing on their rarely used couch between schedules, the cat ran across the room in a flash and jumped straight into his lap. Baekhyun, who had been walking across the room singing loudly on his way to the kitchen, was so startled by the cat he made a strange pig noise and sprawled on the floor (See EXO-EH SHOWTIME EPISODE 8). 

As Kai laughed, stroking the cat, and Baekhyun screeched indignantly (“You bastard Kai! I bet you made it do that”) and pouted (“Channie? I need a hug”), the cat just sat, curling its tail around itself, and purred satisfied. 

*****

“Jongin, are you done with the sheet music for my new song?” Lay hyung asked.

Jongin looked at him confusedly. “What, hyung? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The sheet music you took. I’m fine with you taking it, but I need it back now. And you could’ve asked, of course, I would let you borrow it.”

“Hyung, I swear I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Lay looked at him sadly. “Honesty is the best policy, Jongin.”

“I am being honest, I swear! Why would I take the music, I know you would let me see it if I asked.”

Lay frowned at him. “I know you took it, Jongin, we have video evidence.”

“Where.” It wasn’t a question.

Lay took him to his shared room with Baekhyun, and Jongin saw Baekhyun and Chen sitting at a computer. 

“He says he didn’t take the music.”

They both gave him looks, Baekhyun’s was angry and accusing and Chen’s was more confused than anything else. Silently, a rare feat for the two, they showed him the video. 

The point of view was from a bookshelf on Baekhyun’s side of the room, and glancing quickly over Jongin could spot a small camera resting on one of the shelves. It was dark, but the light from the hall through the open door made it possible to see clearly. And then, Kai silently gasped.

He watched himself walk straight into the room. His hair was rumpled and his eyes were shadowed, though the rest of his face was clear. In the video he rustled around Lay’s desk, before picking up the stack of music and exiting the room. 

Baekhyun reached over to the mouse and paused the video. 

Jongin was silent. He had no memory of taking the papers, or even entering the room in the past month (Baekhyun was extremely overprotective of his room, hence the security camera). How had this happened? It could be an elaborate prank by the beagle line, but their pranks never went as far as to hurt Lay, who was one of the kindest and gentlest members. 

He could do nothing but deny the claims of his stealing. Again and again, as the other members learned of the theft and confronted him. Although he denied it with all his heart, no one believed him and he waited miserably in his room for it to blow over, with only the cat for company. He couldn’t wait for this particular fight to blow over and had been losing even more sleep because of it. 

And then one morning, after a night of sleep that left him more tired than he was the night before, Baekhyun burst into the room, laptop in hand, demanding he return the necklace he had stolen from Baekhyun the night before. As Jongin struggled to wake up, Baekhyun showed him the video of Jongin walking again, straight into the room, past the sleeping figures of Lay and Baekhyun, to pick up the necklace from Baekhyun’s nightstand and exit the room. 

After this instance, Jongin gave up denying his thefts, although he was sure he hadn’t done it, and the others all had security cameras installed in their rooms. Despite the uproar caused by the mysterious thefts, the members decided to not tell their managers quite yet, as they hoped Jongin would own up and stop stealing their stuff. 

As the next few weeks went by, more of their stuff was stolen, and more incriminating videos were collected. Although all the other members had cameras in their room, Kyungsoo refused to put one in their shared room, but he did place one on the kitchen shelf. 

And then one night in their practice room “Thud!” and Lay gasped, and the rest is a blur.

Frantic calls and sirens wailing, pacing back and forth in the hospital waiting room, and phones spammed with notifications. Fans desperately seeking to know, “Is he alright, will he be okay?” 

<end of part six (omo, part six already?)>


	7. Chapter 7

The hospital waiting room was filled with a heavy blanket of silence after the members who had to return to the dorm left. They all wanted to stay, of course, but the management would not let them. “Your dance instructor is available tomorrow morning, and the members who haven’t got this dance down will have to practice tomorrow. Go to sleep, you’ll see him tomorrow after your schedule.”

Even though they knew their schedule wouldn’t end till far past the visiting hours in the hospital, they had no choice but to leave, waving goodbye to the lucky 4 dancers who were allowed to stay. 

They waited. Minseok paced back and forth, and the rest sat in the hard, plastic chairs. 

When the silence grew unbearable, Lay stood up. “What do you guys want to drink, I’ll go to the coffee shop downstairs.” His voice shattered the silence. 

One by one they looked up, and gave him their drink orders. All wanted coffee, except Sehun, who requested lukewarm chocolate since they didn’t think the coffee shop would have bubble tea. 

When Lay left, the atmosphere grew even darker. When he came back, balancing a drink tray and his wallet, the room brightened again, like a switch had been flipped. As Lay handed out the drinks (turns out the shop did carry bubble tea) with a warm smile or a caring words, the members felt a little better, a little more hopeful. 

It was just that small glint of hope that sparked Baekhyun into some semblance of his former self. 

“Ah, you guys. Quit being so whiny. We have to cheer up. Someone, play a game with me.”

“What game?” asked Sehun disinterestedly. 

“Kawi bawi bo!” Minseok’s head flew up, suddenly interested and less mopey, as he exclaimed the name of EXO’s favorite game.

“No, hyung, we play that all the time,” Sehun complained. 

“How about 007 Bang?” Baekhyun suggested.

“Ani,” Lay joined the discussion. “That’s way more fun with more people.”

Baekhyun deflated. “Then what do you want to play?”

Minseok was about to speak when the door into the patient wards opened. 

“Are you here for Kim Jongin?”

Lay was the first one to come to his senses. “Yes, we all are. Is he alright? Can we see him”

“Soon you can see him, but first may I ask you some questions?”

A chorus of “Nae”.

“Do you see him daily. On a regular basis?”

“Yes, he lives with us.”

“Ah, so you know that he’s been under a lot of mental stress lately then?”

Sehun felt a sinking feeling in his chest, as Lay replied: “Yes, he has been.”

“We discovered he hasn’t been eating or drinking sufficiently, especially for the amount of exercise he does. We also noticed his sleep patterns are irregular, and we had to sedate him in order to calm him down tonight. He seems to be losing a lot of sleep lately, probably due to the stress he’s under. You seem like very good friends to him though, so I’m sure you’re helping him through whatever is happening.”

All didn’t reply except Lay, who nodded vigorously. Even if he hadn’t gotten his sheet music back, he still took care of all the members, especially the younger ones, and he certainly didn’t approve of almost all of the members ignoring the dancer. 

“You may see him now, although he is still sedated. I will speak to you about taking care of him and when he will be brought home before you leave.” The doctor pushed open the door to the patient's ward and lead them into a room. 

“I’ll leave you here, I must attend to another patient, but I will be back. Press the call button on the wall if you need anything.”

The four members looked at Jongin. His body seemed so small and weak, hooked up to a multitude of strange pipes and wires, against the stark white hospital bed. His face was hollow, with dark circles not normally seen, and his frame seemed smaller than before. 

It was a startling difference to see from the powerful dance moves and hyper laughs they were used to seeing from Jongin, which broke their hearts. They could see the difference in him and the toll being ignored by almost all of the other group members had taken on him. 

“I will not ignore him anymore,” vowed Minseok silently in his head, ashamed that he had let a beloved little brother suffer under his care.

Lay spoke aloud. “I won’t let you ignore him anymore. Instead of ignoring him, you should make a safe environment, so he will feel comfortable with us. I will speak to the others. I can’t let this go on. I should've spoken up sooner.”

“Ah, hyung, it’s not your fault. We were too harsh on this kid,” Baekhyun one-arm hugged Lay.

Although Sehun didn’t speak, he nodded. He too would forgive his closest-aged hyung. 

Soon after, the doctor returned with a few instructions. 

“He does not have sufficient nutrients, so you must make him eat. And he was dehydrated as well, so he must drink. Water is best, not all those vitamin waters kids these days like. And most importantly, make sure he doesn’t sleepwalk.”

“Sleepwalk?” Lay asked.

“Nae. He has a history of sleepwalking, especially under stress. It’s amazing that he hasn’t already, although maybe he has and you’re just not aware.”

“What do people usually do when they- when they sleepwalk?”

The rest, Baekhyun, Lay, and Minseok, waited anxiously for the reply.

“Oh, nothing harmful. Usually they just wander around a bit, and maybe move some items around, before going back to bed. Then they don’t remember anything afterward, so it can be hard to find the stuff, but this usually doesn’t harm people.”

When the four were back in the waiting room, they looked at each other in realization. 

Could Jongin really have been sleepwalking the entire time? What had they done?

*****

Suho was called and informed of the situation at once, and D.O combed every surveillance camera recording for proof. Could Jongin really have been sleepwalking the whole time?

After many hours, nothing was found. Though they watched the videos over and over again, the dancer’s eyes were always covered or shadowed, as all of the thefts had taken place at night. 

And then finally, after Jongdae had taken over the computer when Kyungsoo went to make dinner, they found a flash, just a flash but it was there, of Jongin’s face. And, though it wasn’t much to go on, they could see Jongin’s closed eyes. 

They knew it wasn’t much to go on, they knew he could’ve just been blinking, but it gave them hope that Jongin hadn’t been stealing their stuff, at least not with malicious intent, and he hadn’t been blatantly lying to them after all. 

*****

When Jongin stumbled back home from the hospital, the dorm was empty. All the other members, except for Lay who had stayed the entire night with him, were out on schedule. 

He leaned on Lay heavily. He could walk, but not steadily, and had refused the wheelchair the hospital had recommended. As a result, he had to rely on his hyung for support. 

When they reached the room Jongin shared with Kyungsoo, Jongin looked around for the cat, but the room was empty. That was normal, as the cat often hid when people other than Jongin and Kyungsoo (who it seemed to regard as a fellow cat, perhaps from the time when they trapped themselves in Jongin’s closet for three hours) came in the room. Still, it made Jongin feel a bit uneasy, especially when the cat didn’t come out when Lay hyung left to get them both a drink of water. 

Thinking the cat might be still asleep (rare but possible) Jongin asked his hyung to check around the room, and when that yielded no results, around the dorm. When the entire dorm had been searched with no sign of the cat, Lay called Kyungsoo to ask about the cat, putting his phone on speaker so Jongin could hear the conversation.

“Kyungsoo-ah. Do you know where Jongin’s cat is?”

There was a muffled….sound (Jongin had no idea how to describe what he heard, it was almost the sound a laughing elephant would make), and then a frantic rustling. Over the rustling, the dancers could clearly hear Kyungsoo’s panicked voice. 

“They’re asking about the cat! What do I do? What should I say?”

“Tell them the line is breaking up,” Chanyeol’s unmistakable deep voice advised.

“Isn’t that lying though?”

“It’s okay,” Baekhyun insisted. “We’ll deal with it later.”

“Um,” Kyungsoo’s voice returned, louder and clearer now. “I- I think the line, or, uh, connection is breaking, the-it, yeah!”

“Hyung,” Jongin sighed. Kyungsoo had never been the best at lying. “I know it isn’t-”

“Bye!”

The phone clicked and then went silent.

The two dancers looked at each other, and then at the phone blankly.

“What happened to my cat?” Jongin asked shakily.

(A/N Okay someone tell me why it shows Luhan and Kris [but strangely not Tao] when I look up “who is the shortest exo member” in Google?)

<end of part seven>


	8. Chapter 8

The moment the rest of EXO stepped through the door, Jongin pounced on them demanding to know the whereabouts of his cat. He first approached Baekhyun. 

“Where’s my cat?”

“Awwwww, ‘my cat’! You’re claiming ownership!”

“Hyung, do you know where my cat is?” Jongin sighed, exasperated. 

“Channie! I think our project was successful! He’s asking for the cat!”

“BAEKHYUN HYUNG TELL ME WHERE MY CAT IS!!!”

“OMIGOSH CHANNIE WE FORGOT TO NAME THE CAT RED ALERT RED ALERT!!!”

Jongin groaned and gave up. Baekhyun probably didn’t know anyways.

As Jongin stomped away, Baekhyun relaxed and let his overly-enthusiastic smile down. For now at least, Jongin didn’t know. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

Chanyeol came over and put his arms around Baekhyun comfortingly. “It will be alright. Everything will be okay.”

*****

Still later that night, Jongin met up with Lay hyung to discuss the whereabouts of the cat. Lay hyung had questioned some of the other members. 

“I don’t know, Jongin. No one will tell me. Like, I get this feeling that Minseok hyung wants to, but Suho hyung always stops him. They all know something.”

“So you didn’t find anything?”

“They said they would tell me but they think I would side with Minseok hyung and Kyungsoo.”

“So whatever it is, Minseok and Kyungsoo hyung want to tell us but the others don’t. What could it be? It has to be something to do with my cat.”

“We should ask Kyungsoo. No one can stop Kyungsoo from doing whatever he wants. But you ask him. He likes you more.” Without giving Jongin a chance to reply, Lay hyung left abruptly. 

A bit worried about Lay hyung, as he was usually so polite, Jongin got Suho hyung to go check up on him before heading out into the dorm to find Kyungsoo. 

As expected, Kyungsoo was in their room, on his bed, staring at the wall with earbuds jammed into his ears. 

“Hyung? Kyungsoo hyung?”

When talking didn’t work, Jongin resorted to poking Kyungsoo’s leg with a long stick.

No reply. 

Jongin steeled himself. This is the only way, he reminded himself, as he quickly grabbed one earbud out of Kyungsoo hyung’s ear and jumped out of the way. 

“AAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHH YOU LITTLE- oh, hi Jongin!” 

“Hyung, please tell me where my cat is! No one else will tell me, even though I  _ know _ they know. It’s my cat, I should know where it is!”

Kyungsoo sighed. “Why me?”

“BECAUSE YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE LEFT!”

Kyungsoo sighed again. “Those cowards. They just don’t want to be blamed for anything.”

“What happened?” Jongin begged. “Please tell me hyung, I’m really worried.”

Kyungsoo smiled sarcastically. “Good news! Your cat isn’t dead.”

Jongin looked at him suspiciously. “What’s the bad news?” he asked slowly. 

“The bad news is, well, we don’t actually know if that’s true.”

“Wh-what do you mean?”

Kyungsoo sighed yet again and explained “We lost it. Someone left a window open, and when we came back from the hospital the cat was gone. At first we thought it was hiding, so I asked everyone to leave,” (here Jongin raised an eyebrow because he was sure Kyungsoo hadn’t merely  _ asked _ them to leave) “but then it wouldn’t come out. So then we used Jongdae’s heat sensor, but no sign of the cat. And by then we were all exhausted, and none of us could think straight.” 

Kyungsoo looked sadly at Jongin. “I’m sorry Jongin, but you know how our schedule is. We can post something to ask the fans to find it, but there’s really nothing else we can do.”

“Doesn’t the cat have a GPS tracker in it? Or at least a microchip?” asked Jongin desperately, grasping at straws. 

“I’m not sure, to be honest,” replied Kyungsoo hesitantly. “Maybe Baekhyun and Jongdae had something done, but I wasn’t aware of anything.”

“We have to do something,” Jongin said desperately.

The door banged open. “Fear not, young child!” 

“Sehun, I’m older than-”

“Don’t worry, Jongin.” Lay smiled. 

“Suho?” Kyungsoo glared.

“We can ask the shelter to keep an eye out,” a deep voice said excitedly. 

“You’re so smart Channie! And of course, once the fans find out they will look as well.”

“And who knows? Maybe the cat will return on its own.”

Kyungsoo and Jongin looked at each other, not exactly sure how or why or when almost all of the other members crowded into their room.

It was nice, of course, to have the support of all of the members, but the noise was getting to Jongin, especially after the long day, and he sent Kyungsoo a pleading look as Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s voices’ rose even louder over the din. 

“Whoa-kay, everybody out!” Kyungsoo yelled, standing up to herd the other members out. “Yes, you too Lay. Baekhyun, I swear if you don’t move I’ll murder you. Chanyeol, stop giving me puppy eyes. OUT! ALL OF YOU! NOW!”

Later, when the pandemonium had finally quieted and all of the members had gone to sleep, Jongin suddenly realized something that, in the chaos of finding out about the cat he had forgotten. “YOU GUYS AREN’T IGNORING ME ANYMORE!” 

“Jongin honey, that’s great,” came Kyungsoo’s sharp voice. “But  _ some _ people are trying to sleep, and if you don’t shut up I’ll fillet you in the morning.”

<end of part eight>


	9. Chapter 9

When Jongin woke up, the dorm was empty. As he wandered around looking for someone (anyone), he couldn’t help but think to himself: Wtf? The past month or so after his birthday had been weird, like, really  _ really _ weird. He blamed it mostly on the beagle line. After all, it was them who had come up with the idea of gifting the cat, and there overall strangeness seemed to have been magnified ever since some fan introduced Chen to EXO crack fanfiction. 

Of course, the fans should be respected despite their ever-increasing strangeness, and the cat was Jongin’s. No one, not even Jongin, could mess with Jongin’s cat. Besides, it was best to blame everything on the Beagle Line anyways. (One time Chen had burst into his room demanding he read a fanfiction Chen had found. He had tried to block Chen out, but from what Jongin could piece together Kris hyung had married a dead fish.)

Speaking of Jongdae, it appears he had left a note for Jongin. It was hastily scrawled, and told Jongin absolutely nothing, besides that they were “somewhere for a while”, that “something had come up”, and they would “be home sometime soon”. 

Such clarity! Jongin thought sarcastically. 

Still, a least a little bit worried, he decided to send a message to Kyungsoo hyung, asking to know where they all were and when they would be home. 

_ Message read. _

_ Typing… _

Five minutes passed, no answer. He sighed. 

_ Calling Hyung. _

“Hello?” Jongin asked when Kyungsoo picked up. 

“What do I say? Should I pick up?”

“Kyung what are you-”

“Baek, it’s Jongin! What do I say?”

“Kyung I’m already on the line.”

There was a strange whoosh, and then Baekhyun was talking. “We are experiencing some technical difficulties. We’ll be with you shortly. And remember, 15 minutes could save you-”

“Baekhyun.”

Jongin could hear the beginning of Baekhyun’s evil laugh before the line went dead. 

<end of part nine>


	10. Chapter 10

The door banged open. Jongin startled from his seat and then glared at Chanyeol, who grinned sheepishly before ushering in all of the other members. The last one in, Lay, was carrying a thing, with a towel draped over it. 

Lay placed the box on the coffee table in front of the couch Jongin had been lounging on. Then, smiling, he pulled off the towel with a flourish. 

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Baekhyun cheered.

Ignoring his crazy hyung (his birthday was just three weeks ago) he stared at the pet carrier in front of him. Something meowed inside of it. 

“Aren’t you gonna open it? C’mon, you know how much time this took? If I knew my efforts would be wasted like this I wouldn’t have bothered.”

Jongin glared at Chen, and then turned to Kyungsoo, who seemed the most reliable right now seeing as Lay hyung was doing that weird staring off into space thing again. 

“Is it- is it my cat?”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo smiled his special smile, the one he only gave Jongin and the fans. And occasionally Baekhyun. Weird. 

“Oh for Pete’s sake, do I have to do everything around here?”

As Suho snorted (Baekhyun was one of the laziest members), Baekhyun darted over to the light and had the carrier open in a flash, dumping the cat onto Jongin’s lap. 

“Hyung!” Jongin protested, cuddling the cat maliciously. 

“So, do you want to know how we found it? Or are you just going to wallow? Like always.” Sehun smirked, leaning against the couch. 

Kyungsoo glared. “Maknae.”

As Sehun shrunk against the couch (and away from Kyungsoo), Jongin pet the cat murderously. “So how did you find Jongin’s cat?”

Suho hyung blinked. “Why are you calling the cat Jongin’s cat when you’re Jongin?”

As always, everyone ignored the leader. 

“Well, we wanted to get the cat back as soon as possible,” Minseok began explaining. “Because some of us felt extremely guilty for leaving a window open.”

“IN MY DEFENSE-”

“Chen, shut up. Anyways, we knew we had to stay on schedule, so we couldn’t look for the cat, but we did but up signs and inform the pound and stuff. But then-”

“BUT THEN! THEN, SOMEONE HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF-”

“Baekkie,” Chanyeol whispered. 

“Yes, dear?”

“You’re shouting.”

“Oh, thanks for telling me, darling. Anyways, then someone (someone meaning me) had the brilliant idea of organizing a bunch of people with absolutely no lives to comb the streets with their sole intention being to please us, aka finding the cat.”

Jongin looked at Baekhyun, confused for a second, before realizing what he was trying to say. 

“Oh, so you just asked the fans.”

“Ex’actly! Then, when they held the cat hostage (a very smart move, I would’ve done it myself), we simply let them into the special meet-up we had today for free, they brought the cat, and in exchange for a half-hour of squealing, crying, and doing awkward and embarrassing things-”

“Like what Chanyeol and Baekhyun do on a regular basis,” Minseok interjected.

“-We got the cat and they got…” Baekhyun thought for a moment. “Well, one of them got a signed t-shirt. And the rest of them… well… I guess they got the experience of meeting a deity and his mortal friends?”

“Baekhyun.”

“And Satan, of course,” Baekhyun was quick to correct, before ducking and then dashing out of the room, with Satansoo close behind. 

  
  


“You guys did all that? Without even telling me?”

“You’re welcome!” Baekhyun called from outside of the room before a scream rang out. 

“Hmm. I think that’s the highest note Baekhyun has ever hit,” observed Minseok. 

“Thank, guys. I appreciate you getting Jongin’s cat back,” Jongin said grudgingly. 

“Awww, you’re welcome-” 

“Suho. SUHO. Get off me.”

As Jongin stormed out of the room (still holding the cat as the villains do in the movies), and the room erupted into chaos (basically the dorm in its usual state), Chanyeol picked up the fork Kyungsoo had thrown at Baekhyun. 

“Where did he even get this from?” Chanyeol wondered aloud. “Or does he just carry a stash of forks with him everywhere. Weird.”

“You think, I’m weird?” Kyungsoo asked, before pulling a fork out of his pocket and throwing it at Chanyeol. 

“BAEKKIE HELP! AAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

<end of part ten>


	11. Chapter 11

In the weeks after Jongin got his cat back, things slowly went back to normal, with a few changes of course. 

Baekhyun took on the responsibility of teaching Kyungsoo how to tell if the person he was calling could hear him. “You’re terrible at it. What if we have to go on a secret mission someday, and you ruin it?”

“That’s never going to happen,” Kyungsoo protested, but when Baekhyun put his mind to something no one, not even Satansoo, could stop him. 

The cat now held a place of honor. Along with several new cat toys, the cat also acquired ten cans of gourmet cat food, a huge scratching post almost as tall as the poodle who bought it, and a necklace with a blank pendant. 

Baekhyun had wanted to have an engraved medal of honor for the cat (although Jongin wasn’t quite sure what they were honoring the cat for), but he soon realized something. The cat didn’t have a name!

Baekhyun, satisfied that Kyungsoo was adept (enough) to be let loose from his teachings, decided to take on a new project: naming the cat. 

“What about Veronica?”

Jongin glared at his hyung. “No. We are NOT naming my cat  _ Veronica. _ ”

“Why not, Jongin? Don’t be rude to Veronica.”

“Baekhyun, I’ve already told you. I want my cat to have a boy name. Because he’s a boy. Not a Veronica.”

“How about Veron then? Ooh! Or _ Vernon _ !”

“NO! I’m not naming my cat after a Dursley! Go AWAY, Baekhyun!”

After a week or so, Jongin grew tired of Baekhyun’s incessant attempts at naming his cat. (“What about Peony? That’s pretty!” “Baekhyun I’m  _ in the shower !  _ Get OUT!”) He gathered all the members into the living room. 

“I’ve brought you all here for the official naming ceremony of my cat. He is now to be known as Cat. Oh, and just so you  _ know  _ it’s official, I had the medal engraved. Goodbye.”

Behind him, Baekhyun collapsed into Chanyeol’s arms, sobbing dramatically at the loss of opportunity in naming. Sehun snorted at the name, and he could hear Kyungsoo glaring at Suho (Kyungsoo glared loudly). He would’ve stayed to watch the aftermath of his announcement, but cool people don’t look at explosions. 

Now that the boys were aware Jongin might’ve been sleepwalking, they got two people to watch Jongin sleep, without telling him first. 

Apparently, the doctor was right. Jongin did sleepwalk. At least, that’s what he concluded after waking up tied extremely excessively to his bed. The dorm was empty of all except Minseok and Lay. 

“Lay, untie me right now! I don’t have to be tied down anymore! I’m awake.” 

Lay looked at him reproachfully. “Baekhyun told me you’d say that. But we can’t let you go until Baekhyun gets back.”

“Since when do you listen to Baekhyun?”

Lay gave him wide eyes. “Baekhyun is scary when he’s mad. You don’t know anything since you have Kyungsoo to protect you, but that little thing is as evil a Satansoo, almost.”

Jongin sighed. “Minseok!”

“No thanks, don’t want eyeliner on my toothbrush again!”

Jongin sighed again, louder this time, and settled back into his bed, waiting until that annoying diva was back again. 

As the weeks went on, the members started to find things again. Baekhyun found his necklace while going through Jongin’s underwear drawer. 

“What the-why were you going through my underwear!?!”

Baekhyun shrugged. “I didn’t have any clean pairs.”

Chen found Lay’s music in the back of the freezer, wedged between the hidden popsicles and frozen beef. Chanyeol found his guitar pick in his guitar case. 

“Maybe he didn’t take this after all,” he admitted sheepishly to Suho. 

“I thought we had video proof of all the thefts?”

“Well, we don’t have a camera in the music room, so I just assumed.”

“Never assume,” advised Sehun, who had been walking by. “It makes-”

Kyungsoo glared. “If I hear that dumb phrase one more time, someone is going to get hurt.”

Sehun slinked back into his room. 

All in all, the member’s strange adventure with the cat and the thief had turned out well. The dorm had a pet now, and Jongin stopped scoffing every time he heard a story about a good cat. Lay finished his song, and the company actually let him produce it. Kyungsoo had a friend to hide in the closet with him when the stress of being a lead vocalist and rooming with the hottest member caught up with him. 

And of course, ChanBaek adopted the cat as their child, got married (unofficially), and lived happily ever after. 

<end of work>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, thank you for reading ^-^  
> This was the very first EXO fic I wrote.   
> If you liked it, kudos are appreciated <3  
> If you have any prompts you want to see fics of, leave them in the comments. No promises on the quality, but I'll try my best!


	12. Outline + Planning Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't another chapter (sorry), but just my planning notes and outline for the story. It's pretty short bcuz the fic is short but I thought it might be interesting for some people to see.

Kai+Cat

  1. Gets the cat
  2. Learns why he got the cat
  3. Sehun and Kyungsoo fluffiness
  4. Beagle Line fluffiness
  5. More Maknae and Satansoo fluff, plus cat bonding
  6. More cat bonding, the thief makes his appearance
  7. Jongin hospitalized 
  8. OMG THE CAT IS MISSING AHHHHHHHH
  9. WTF why is the Beagle Line Insane?
  10. Oh, the cat was found. Realizes he actually likes cats. (and that everyone in the dorm is crazy
  11. End, trying to name the cat, Jongin hates the world (Well, just The Beagle Line. And Suho, apparently). 



The members who stayed at the hospital

  1. Lay
  2. Sehun
  3. Baekhyun
  4. Xiumin



Overview of characters old to young:

Minseok

Suho

Lay

Baekhyun

Chen

Chanyeol

Kyungsoo

Jongin

Sehun

Plot holes to fill in last chapter:

None?


End file.
